Perkahwinan Tradisi Orang Orang Melayu/Traditional Malay Wedding
Merisik
Whether it is an arranged marriage or as today where the couple are already known to one another, the merisik is the first stage of a Malay wedding. Having checked on the family background a group of elders visit the girls house to inquire whether she is prepared to accept the hand of the groom. In the olden days the proposal was made with presenting of sirih (betel leaves) and a poetry recital known as pantuns. For example;
Orang Jawa turun ke dusun, (A Javanese visited this orchard),
Singgah sejenak di pinggir kota, (And dropped by at a town to unwind),
Kami bawa sirih tersusun, (We bring along betel nut leaves to chat),
Sudilah sepiak pembuka kata, (Please have one to mind).
The proposal is made as follows:
Khabarnya di sini ada sekuntum bunga yang sedang mekar harum di taman (We are told of a flower fully bloomed and fragrant in your garden)
Sudi apalah kiranya kami menyunting kembang tersebut?
Will you allow us to pluck that flower?
Acknowledgements: GATEWAY TO MALAY CULTURE. Publisher ASIA BOOKS PTE LTD.
However today, it is common for a relative of the young man to visit the parents of the intended girl bringing along sebentuk cincin tanya (an inquiring ring to be left behind) along with buah tangan (gifts such as cakes, flowers and sweets). After considering for a few days, the girl either accepts or rejects the ring. If she agrees then a group of family members visit the house of the other party to make plans for the bertunang (engagement).
Istiadat Bertunang (Engagement)
On the day of the engagement the girl is dressed up in a baju kurung or baju kebaya. The boy’s family members and friends arrive with the hantaran (gifts) that includes the tepak sirih (a brass/pewter rectangular container that holds 4 tiny cups of the same metal for kapur (lime) pinang (arecanut) gambir, tembaku (tobacco) sirih (betel leaves) and an arecanut cutter), the ring and other gifts. In Johor the tepak sirih is counted as one item of the hantaran but elsewhere it is an extra item and not counted. In total the whole hantaran is made up of odd numbers such as 3, 5, 7 and so on. Whether it is the bertunang or the Akad Nikah the bride gives two more hantaran than the groom. The hantaran from the bride’s side are already on display in the room where the recital and discussion is to take place. The boy does not attend the engagement ceremony. The ceremony begins with prayer recitals, a formal introduction of both parties followed by the length of the engagement, the Mas Kahwin (marriage fee) and the number of hantaran to be exchanged at the Akad Nikah (solemnisation). Finally a female relative puts the sebentuk cincin tunang (the engagement ring) on the girl’s finger.
Before the wedding the two parties meet to discuss the venue, the time of the Akad Nikah (solemnisation), the formal bersanding ceremony and other details.
Other ceremonies performed before a wedding.
Quran Recital by the bride.
The bride usually recites the Quran and a ceremony is held at the completion. The bride sometimes with the assistance of a friend or relative completes the final recital in the presence of invited guests. This ceremony can be a grand function with lunch or dinner being served to all those present. The guests are also given gifts (favours) for attending.
Berinai (Henna Ceremony)
A few days before or the day before the wedding the bride will have her hands and feet decorated with henna. This too like the Quran recital ceremony takes place in the presence of ladies. Again there can be recitals such as the Marhaban (recitals praising the prophet saw)
Bath.
On the eve of the wedding the bride has a bath. The water is scented with rose, jasmine and other flower petals.
An Educational Course on the Duties after Marriage to be attended by the Couple before the Wedding.
Today, after the engagement and before the wedding day it is compulsory in Malaysia for the couple to attend classes on the marital duties as husband and wife and other relevant topics.
Perkahwinan (The Wedding)
The groom arrives accompanied by bunga manggar (palm blossoms or coloured tinsel to represent palm blossoms) carriers, friends and relatives to the beating of the kompang (hand held drums). A selected group carry the already agreed hantarans for example, a Quran, prayer mats, jewellery, cakes, and other gifts, not forgetting the tepak sirih. The bride’s gifts to the groom are on display in the room where the marriage solemnisation is to take place. Normally this Akad Nikah takes place in the house of the bride. However these days it can also take place in Masjids (mosques) hotels and so on.
The Akad Nikah represents the time the marriage is officially recognised through verbal contract between the Qadi a religious official of the Shariah Court or the bride’s father who can act as a Qadi and the groom. Having introduced himself, the Qadi asks the bride whether she is agreeable to this marriage. He then speaks to the groom. The marriage certificate is then signed by the bride and the groom and the exchange of money known as Mas Kahwin is given. In Malaysia the Mas Kahwin can vary from State to State. As the money passes from the groom to the Qadi, a declaration is given in the presence of at least three witnesses. For example,
“Aku nikahkan kau (followed by the name of the groom, bin name of father) dengan (the bride’s name followed by binti name of father) berwalikan aku dengan Mas Kahwin (amount) tunai (cash)”. “I marry the (groom’s name) to (bride’s name) with Mas Kahwin (amount) cash”
The groom replies “ Aku ( his name bin father’s name) terima nikahnya (name of bride binti father’s name ) dengan Mas Kahwin (amount) tunai. ‘ I, (his name …. son of …..) accept this marriage to (bride’s name daughter of father’s name) with the Mas Kahwin.
Having done this the Kutba Nikah (a sermon on the duties of a husband and wife) is given by the Qadi.
Next the groom sembahyang (prays) two sunnah rakaats and batal air sembahyang (nullify the ablution state) by sarungkan cincin (put the ring on the bride). The akad nikah is then followed by a jamuan makan (feast) and everyone present is given some form of gift (favour) such as a bunga telur. is ivermectin and benadryl safe together for dog A bunga telur is a boiled egg (for fertility) in some presentation container.
The bedroom in which the newly wedded couple is to spend their first night is elaborately decorated with floral arrangement, new rugs and carpets and the guests are invited to have a look if they wish to do so.
Bersanding (Sitting in State)
The wedding reception can take place in the bride’s house or in hotels as most commonly done today.
The Bride and Groom are treated as Raja and Permaisuri Sehari (King and Queen for the day). If the King and Queen are present they have to step aside and the couple are given the recognition! The outfit they wear represents the State their family belongs to or comes from.
The Pelamin or the dais that can be on a stage so that the guests could have full view of the couple, is elaborately decorated with flowers and lights. The two chairs are high backed to represent the throne and to give a form of authority.
The bride and groom can arrive together at the hotel dressed in full regalia with their entourage to the beating of the kompang (drum) and the bunga mangga carriers. If the arrangement is for the bride to come to the hall first or if the reception is held at the bride’s house, the bride walks up to the groom and invite the groom and his entourage. They then walk to the Pelamin together with the kompang beaters and the bunga mangga carriers.
In Johor, the bride comes first accompanied by the assistant known as mak andam and the maids to the beating of the kompang. She then sembah (put both her hands together) to greet the guests and sits on one of the two high backed throne on the Pelamin and wait for the groom’s arrival. The mak andam blocks the face of the bride when the groom arrives. The groom follows with his entourage. At the entrance the groom has to go through the charade of bribing the bride’s relatives before they allow him to pass through. harga ivermectin injeksi He then walks to the Pelamin and has to pay the mak andam a toll to see the brides face and to sit next to his wife. Here there could be poetry recitals by the groom’s best man and the mak andam requesting permission and being granted. The groom gets on the Pelamin and sembah before taking his seat on the throne. can you give rabbits ivermectin
Merenjis (Blessing ceremony)
On the Pelamin would be the receptacle for Bunga Rampai. The traditional Bunga Rampai is comprised of finely sliced daun pandan (known as rampe in SL), mixed with fragrant flower petals, coloured rice and the rose water sprinkler. Petals and rice are fertility symbols.
The names of selected guests are called out and invited to bless the couple by scattering the Bunga Rampai and sprinkling the rose water on them. Once each guest gives his/her blessing a gift comprising of wrapped up hard- boiled egg found stuck on the Pulut Pahar (a stand that looks like a tree stump) is presented by the young attendants. At a Johorian style wedding the gift is a Bunga Goyang (literally meaning shaking flower) that it is made out of beads on springs that shakes with movement.
As a token of appreciation for attending the wedding all other guests are given a Bunga Telur (again literally meaning) flower egg. This can be an egg in a receptacle. However, today it can even be some sweets, decorated ornaments and so on.
After the Merenjis ceremony while the couple are still seated on the throne there could be a silat (martial art) performance or other traditional dances.
Nasi Pulut Kuning (Yellow Glutinous Rice)
At a Malay wedding Nasi Pulut Kuning takes the place of a wedding cake. The rice is soaked in saffron water and left overnight. The following day the rice is steamed with coconut milk being poured periodically. When the rice is cooked it is decorated and placed for the bridal couple to have a bite at the Bersanding Ceremony. The rest of the Nasi Pulut are be served to guests.
The marriage ceremony is now complete and the jamuan makan (feast) begins.
If the groom wishes to have a separate Bersanding and not a joint one he could do so on another day.
